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Airport etiquette: Learn how to fly

So I’ve been traveling… A LOT lately… #wanderlust…and I’ve been noticing a few things I feel could improve.  I wish there really was a book called The Considerate Traveller and that it was passed out after everyone booked a flight or something.  It’s definitely needed.

Dear First Time Flyers,

Why I mean WHYYYY do I always get stuck with y’all!  I’ve had several disasters…and I’m over it.

1. Chillens/Chirdren

aka your kids… shut them up.  Figure it out. My last flight a kid was literally SCREAMING REPEATEDLY AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS… did I mention Repeatedly? Like stop.  Please.  I mean give the kid an iPad… or a Benadryl. They don’t make earphones loud enough to drown out that sound.  I don’t mind the occasionally crying but if you’re letting your child run amuck and do as they please – DON’T!

 

2. Window hogs

Don’t block the view with your giant head and camera phone the entire trip …. you’re annoying.  Get your one good snap chat, instagram, twit pic, selfie in and call it a day!  I mean seriously… google airplane selfie and voila…. this shit.  #icanteven Share the view please!

    
3. Music

Please use headphones and remember… you’re not at a concert!  Head banging, singing loudly, rapping, snapping your fingers, and rocking back my seat aggressively like a 5 year old are all completely unnecessary!!!!! Chill out. You’re on an airplane.

4. Security line

Unless this is your first rodeo have your shit together and ready to go.  You’ve probably been waiting in that line for 15 min now so don’t act shocked when it’s finally your turn to go.  If it takes you more than 2 min to line up your 100004562878929292 bins let people go around you- you have too much shit and clearly you’re unorganized and on a joy ride bc me sir- I’m in a hurry and I’m ready to go!  Wham bam thank you ma’am.  I’m not here to teach you how to pack….

You can check out how I pack my carry on and my top 10 here!

5.  Earbuds

A must to avoid random stranger conversations (yes I realize this sounds more like a New Yorker than a Southerner but when you’ve been stuck like I have you’ll agree).
note: books and laptops WILL NOT help. Only ear buds and no eye contact.  Go full NYC.  Hard.

 

6. Slow Down

When the flight lands it is completely unnecessary for everyone to try to stand up and leave. Not to mention illogical – where are you going? One at a time as fast as possible LEHGO!

 

*Side story/Example: On my flight home there was an air marshall, straight Home Land Security y’all, and about 20 people from the back of the plane rushed to the front (BEFORE the plane had even stopped) and he had to threaten them with having an FBI agent site them (whatever that means) if they didn’t return to their seats.  Then he asked everyone to calm down and take a deep breath.  Fast forward past the anxious and confused passengers, plane stops and they do it again.  A lady was trying to get her luggage down and they zoom past her while the luggage beams this kid in the face.  Total and utter chaos.  If I would have filmed this I think I’d be a YouTube star!

 

 

PS. Bonus advice

 

I realize I can’t fix all the problems, even though being a woman it’s something I like to attempt so hopefully these little tips and tricks and advice will suffice for now.  I expect major improvements next time I’m at the airport people!

Feel free to come bitch it out with me on our insta @VerbalGoldBlog!  Oh and bring me some whiskey. Whew.

#SorryNotSorry Ady

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