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Tinder: The New App: A review and guest post

Not sure how far this has spread but the new app has reached Atlanta and it’s a hit!  Imagine hot or not 2.0 version meets Facebook.  So I gave it a try this weekend and it basically looks like this…

 

A guy comes up on the screen that is located close to you… and you either hit the X or the little green heart.  You can also click on his picture to see more pictures, similar interest, and shared friends.
 
If he green hearts you… then you’re “matched” and can then begin a conversation.
 

 

 The thing that makes me giggle the most is the messages under the picture… like send an effing message already. Hilarious.

 

 
What’s the purpose of this app… I have no idea.  Is it a distraction. Yes. For dating.. probably not.  Have I been asked on date. Yes.  Does this make me laugh. Yes.
So TINDER away…
 
If you haven’t checked out my lovely Glitter Spotlight of the month Ashten check her out HERE!
She has an hilarious TINDER story!
 
 
Catch up on all our bad Tinder Binders here!
 
———————
 




Tinder Tricked Me Into Another Internet Date 


 
It’s no secret that I am not a fan of internet dating (See this post for why). After 2010 told myself I would never do it again.
And then, Tinder happened.
Have you heard of Tinder? It’s a little app you can download that shows you all the eligible singles in your area. It’s like “Hot or Not” 2.0. I only got on this because one of my friends tricked me into it. I was sitting there, eating my Greek yogurt, minding my own business when she rushed at me with the level of excitement I imagine a teenage girl would have if she met Justin Bieber.
Friend: Oh my gosh you have you download this app right now. It’s totally something you would love.
Me: What is it?
Friend: It’s called Tinder. Download it right now.
Me: (trusting her, because I’m an idiot) Ok, but what is it?
Friend: It’s this app where you can rate singles in your area “hot or not”. If they approve of you, and you approve of them, you’re a match and you can start chatting. It’s hilarious.
Me: So wait, this is Internet dating? Why would I love this?!
Friend: It’s not Internet dating. Its Internet judging. We all know you love judging.
Damn it, she has a point. Plus the app was free and I had nothing better to do. Fine. I’ll judge some single dudes based on their looks. I’m feeling rather shallow today.
I was on the app for two hours that night. TWO HOURS OF INTERNET JUDGING. That’s almost a record, and if it’s not it should be.
There’s this red “X” you can hit when you don’t find someone attractive and the word “NOPE” scrawls across their photo in big, angry red letters.  It’s like the app is pissed off this person ever attempted to post their photo on the site. If you need to let out a little aggression this is an easy way to do it.
I “liked” this one guy’s photo and not 10 minutes later had a message waiting in my inbox.
“Just moved to ATL from FL. Looking for a tour guide. :) ”
Needless to say, my pants were charmed right off.
On Opposite Day.
I messaged back (first mistake) “welcome to Atlanta”.
This resulted in a back and forth conversation of me doing my best witty one-liner comebacks to diffuse any flirting because I’m 100% sure I did not download this app to go on a date. Wrong. He asked me on 4 dates. I turned him down each time. To be honest, I wasn’t doing this to be mean. I really just wasn’t interested in hauling my ass out to Buckhead to get drunk at a college bar with a stranger and his friends.
The next morning, 9am I had a message.
“Come to breakfast with me. I’ll buy.”
I’m telling you. The charm on this guy. I politely declined because my morning troll look was in full effect.
“Let’s go to lunch.”
I politely decline.
“Dinner?”
For those counting, this is date request number 7. I’m totally not that great, but applaud the effort, so I agree to meet him. But not for dinner, because eating in front of strangers is awkward. So, I agreed to meet him at Ikea, where he was shopping for his new apartment.
Mistake number 2.
I showed up at Ikea after having a 20 minute conversation with a friend on the way over, so I wouldn’t bail. Dude was cute, but looked hungover as shit. We walked in, and head for the couch section. He shows me one he likes.
Him: This is the one I’m buying. Do you like it?
Me: Yes. You could totally do football Sunday on this.
Him: Or hungover Sunday. ha ha.
Me: So, will it fit in your apartment?
Him: What?
Me: Do you have the measurements of the wall you want to put it on so you know if it fits?
Him: Did I need to do that?
Me: Well yes, how else are you going to know if it fits?
Him: I was just kinda hoping they had a solid return policy if that happened.
He then pulled out his phone and showed me photos of his living room, asking me if I thought the couch would fit. He’s 29, by the way.
OH MY GOD. I CAN’T DEAL WITH YOU RIGHT NOW.
I wrote down the measurements of the couch, so my brain wouldn’t explode all over everyone else’s Saturday, and we moved on to the bedroom section.
This is where it all goes downhill…..
I can’t go in to too much detail here, because just thinking of it makes me break out in to hives from stress. Let’s sum it up by saying that he did not know what a box spring was, nor did he know that he needed to purchase the matress seperately from the bed. At one point, I took over talking to the very helpful Ikea employee, who was making the “save me” face at me the whole time anyway.
There was really no nice way to ask this, so I just kind of blurted out:
“Have you ever bought furniture before?!?!”
His reply:
“I mean, no. I just kind of hire people to do this shit for me. That’s why I brought you along.”
Aaaaannnnndddd here is where I make my polite, yet very quick exit. Proving once again that Internet dating sucks and also proving that I’m an idiot for getting tricked into trying it again.
Men, I am going to break this down for you in a very simple way:
FURNITURE SHOPPING FIRST DATE: BAD. THAT’S SOME COUPLE-TYPE SHIT.
I am never Internet dating again. I mean it this time.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 



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