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Lesson 1: To Tinder Date or Not To Tinder Date… that is the a super easy question.  

And yes this is real life.  All of the below is a true story.  If you need to play catch up and have no idea what TINDER is please check out this post first!

So I have this friend… who will be referred to as ‘said friend’ for the rest of the story.  And said friend decided to go on a Tinder “Date” (if you will).

First, let’s start with this “said friend” – she received an extensive amount of phone calls in 5 minutes from “Tinder Guy” but still decided to move forward with the “project” at hand. 

tinder date

We’ll call this. Exhibit A.

After giving him a hard time all day, and clearly setting expectations of wanting a nice guy status/ gentleman/ date not a hook up…. and him “always having the right answer” she still decided to give Tinder Guy (TG) a chance but was smart by planning a date out instead of at either home.  (We all watch Law and Order SVU and Criminal Minds… better safe than sorry people )!

TG kept pushing the “date” back… from 7 and dinner… to 9 and drinks…to my gym time took longer I’ll be there by 10… I mean to the point that “said friend” seriously contemplated canceling.  (We’ve all been in college and have heard these pick up lines like ‘Let’s watch a movie’.  They don’t work.  We just think you’re a creeper ).

She still agreed to meet him at a location to “feel the situation out”.  I mean it was a Tuesday… not one of her prEEmo weekend dates!  Against better judgement (bc obviously TG had photo shopped himself ) “said friend” invited TG over to watch the football game so her room mates could observe the situation.  “Said friend” being a Southern girl, felt uncomfortable being so rude to just take off after meeting and to just flee leave the scene (even though that’s what she wanted to do).

Upon entering, “said friend” noticed TG had his shack pack (oral b toothbrush) in his back pocket.  She then made a comment to him that it was not needed bc he would not be staying the night.  His response… I like to brush my teeth a lot.
TG tried to seem polite but ultimately was trying his hardest to get to “said friend’s” room by saying things like “So, give me the MTV Cribs tour”.  

All and all let’s say this ended up short of expectations for TG.  After being asked how many “Tinder Dates” he had been on and his reply being …. “a few”.  He had certain intentions… that were clearly crushed.  TG had some false advertising.  His pic was from 1990 (most likely) in his most beefed up days.  You couldn’t see the bald spot, his extended jaw, 10ft mouth, and lisp.  I’ve even been led to believe he used some sort of auto tuning device to disguise his voice over the phone.  Mad misrepresenting going on.  Using Tinder I’ve heard is now used as solely a hook up app.  I’ve even had other guy friends send me girls that are advertising a FWB status.  If you want to go there… go to craigslist.  

Exactly why TINDER is NOT a dating app.  #sorrynotsorry

**Props to my friend Beth Fitz for coming up with such an amazing Tinder title!!!** 

Catch up on all our bad Tinder Binders here!

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