I'm not against technology, I love it, I have a blog and an account on every one of the aforementioned apps! However, being a Southerner just because you love technology doesn't mean you get to throw away old traditional values. For example, how a gentleman asks a lady out. I know thanks to Tinder, Match, OK Cupid, Bumble, and Farmers Only (haha) guys expect a girl to just appear right in front of them for all of their immediate needs and then they're onto the next one. It's like the Dominoes of dating. Well guess what? I'm not a delivery service. These apps have already made it SO EASY to meet women but just don't get lazy! Ladies aren't interested in LAZY boys. We like MEN!
I'm so tired of guys throwing their number at me like I'm supposed to call THEM and initiate conversation. Good luck with that. So what I'm going to do is share the common mistakes guys are making and the proper way to set them straight! The proper way to ask out a lady... a "how to" if you will.
HOW TO ASK A LADY OUT:
(I want to preface this with don't wait too long to ask her out. She doesn't want to be pen pals aka text buddies with you for 2 weeks. Pull the trigger already. She WILL lose interest)
1. ASK FOR HER NUMBER!I know it's 2014 but I'm from the South. That means I'm a little old fashioned but the fact still remains the same, men are hunters and men do the picking. Unless you want to be in charge your entire relationship and call the shots I suggest making him work for your number, actually ask for it, and call YOU!
When guys give you their number it's either a tactic guys have to avoid rejection or a blow off... either way I hate it. Guys should be asking for your number. Remember if he isn't calling, he's just not that into you.
Listen up guys! Have some confidence, grow a pair, be a man, and ask for HER number! Trust me, rejection is worth it when the girl you want gives you her number. You'll come across in a much more mature, manly, confident light. You'll start off a few steps ahead because you took charge. Girls like that shit.
SET HIM STRAIGHT! If he's one of the many guys that throws his number at you there's still a chance. Simply have a cute little remark ready and fire back. I will either go with a witty sarcastic remark like, "Let me know how that works out for you." or "You didn't think it'd be that easy did you?" if I'm feeling fiesty or I'll turn on my cute and sweet southern charm by saying, "Thanks so much for your number but I'm from the South and we do things a little different - wink wink..." you can add more onto it but they usually get the hint (if they're smart). It's like a light bulb goes off. Like oh yeah, duh.
Also, this helps to set the record straight that you're not in fact desperate, you don't care that much because there are plenty of fish in the sea, you could take it or leave it, and that most importantly you're a lady and expect to be treated like one. It will most definitely set you apart from the other girls. You can come up with your own flirtatious response but 90% of the time he will ask for your number. If he doesn't, he's not the type of guy you want to be involved with anyways.
2. ASK AHEAD OF TIME!
This doesn't mean 30 minutes before or the day of. This means at least 2 days notice. I absolutely LOVE it when a guy calls me on a Monday to see how my week looks. It shows how considerate he is and that he's a planner. I know most guys don't plan but fake it til' you make it guys.
Plus, girls like to get ready for a date.... especially a first date! They do a lot of little extra things. Like tan, whiten their teeth, make sure their hair is done (maybe even visit a salon), get a mani/pedi, have the maids/cleaners come so the house looks nice, make sure the yard is done, go shopping for a new outfit (spend $)... I mean the list goes on and on. Be aware of these things!
Same goes with having to cancel. If for some crazy reason you must cancel, please keep in mind that she's done these things in advance. Be considerate and try to give her as much notice as possible... not the day of or 30 minutes before. If you cancel the day of or 30 minutes before it had better be a life threatening emergency or you will most likely never talk to this girl EVER again.
3. CALL HER!F*ing CALL HER! Why get the number if you're not going to call? Just to text all day? Again, I know I'm old fashioned and you and your new lady can text all day but when it comes to asking her out pick up the phone and call her! She will appreciate that!
Just because you call her on Monday for a Friday date doesn't mean you have to have everything planned out - you're just putting feelers out there to nail down a day. Once you nail down a day tell her you'll call her back when you figure out the details. At this time it's okay to ask her what she prefers between option A or B or if she likes a certain type of food. Under no circumstance do you say, "So what do you want to do?". You're the man. Right? You ask her out! You make the plans!
4. HAVE A PLAN!
And a word to the wise... make a reservation. There is nothing worse than going to a restaurant and having to wait 45 minutes. It shows that the guy doesn't pay attention to detail, he's not considerate, and that the lady isn't that important. You'll make an excellent impression and seem uber professional if you have a reservation.
WHAT NOT TO DO : MY 2 BIGGEST PET PEEVES:
(ok I'm going to preface this with I know there are some girls out there asking for FWB so this mainly applies to the classy ladies you meet, although I do think no matter what everyone should be treated nicely)
*DON'T BE A D BAG! Don't ask to trade pics, share pics, send pics, for a pic, for a selfie, for naked pictures... whatever! Just. Don't. Do. It. Don't ask for my snap chat and don't' be a creeper!!! You sound ridiculous especially if you're over 30. Yuck! If you've met online, I'll assure you the lady is hitting the block button as you read this. If you have her number, I'm guessing she'll politely decline and then eventually do the fade away. If you're not dating exclusively this is inappropriate. We all know what you're trying to do.
*DON'T ASK WHEN SHE'S FREE! Just ask her out! I think this tactic is to avoid rejection but it's one of my pet peeves. A guy will ask when are you free? When this week, this weekend, this month? Be specific! Why can't you just say, Hey are you available on Thursday or Friday. Grow a pair! Be a MAN!
Check out 10 Commandments of a Date or 7 Questions to Ask on a First Date for more!